Ten things motherhood has taught me.

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I’ve decided to join up with a linky by Lucy over at Learner Mama, a fellow member of the Irish parenting bloggers group. This is my first EVER linky and one that I couldn’t ignore. I spent the weekend mulling over what I’ve really learnt in motherhood since my 4 year-old boy & girl twins were born and I think I could have easily written a list of 100! Be sure to check out all the other links by clicking on the badge below as there have been some brilliant responses.

  1. The realisation that I know my children better than anyone. On occasion I have sensed that something wasn’t right with the kids when others said they were fine, and it turned out I was tuned in. This seems very obvious to most I’m sure, but to a first-time mother, it gave me great confidence.
  2. To take parenting books with a pinch of salt. Parenting books are fine, but they are written for a wide audience. I think especially when it comes to a specific problem, it is much better to talk other parents, friends, family or read some of the great parenting blogs out there.
  3. That sometimes, when you are feeling desperate, indulging the kids in lots of cartoons and chocolate won’t do any harm.
  4. To always persevere when in doubt. After a visit to a Doctor with the kids, and if something doesn’t sit well with me, I know it’s best to go back again or push for a second opinion.
  5. To graciously accept (ignore!) advice from others who may tend to overwhelm with their nuggets of parenting wisdom. I realised it’s easy to smile and move on, and appreciate that (deep down) they are really only trying to help.
  6. A true appreciation for why mums can look dishevelled. They have not let themselves go! Looking good has just moved down the long list of priorities.
  7. The importance of treating twins as individuals. It’s so unfair on kids to be compared to each other regarding developmental milestones and their personalities. One is no better in any particular aspect than the other, they are just beautiful little individuals with their own strengths and virtues.
  8. That my mother was right.
  9. To stop panicking over everything being equal and treating the twins fairly. At different stages one child may receive more attention than the other for no other reason than they need it. With twins, the mummy guilt can set in early – when two babies are crying and you can’t decide who to pick up first, but I try to remember that whoever needs me will receive attention and in the end it will all even out.
  10. That nothing could have prepared me for this.

 

Learnermamaphoto credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/citronsmurf/9681813955/”>citron_smurf</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/license

 

 

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Categories: Articles, Twins!

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31 replies

  1. Great post! Thanks so much for taking part with your list! Number 10 – absolutely 🙂

  2. #1,#3, and #9 love it and so true! I can’t possible divide my time equally between all three kids! We just do the best we can! Great post 🙂

  3. Ah once we become a mother we enter a whole new educational system. I am still learning even after so many years.
    Great post. I loved the one about comparing twins. Sometimes we have twins competing in the pool and it can be difficult when one begins to excel. It seems wrong somehow especially when they are identical.

    • I can imagine it would be so difficult at the poolside. I did compare them in the early days and worry when one wasn’t doing something (developmentally). Sometimes it can be hard not to. I think comparing them all the time might prevent them from becoming themselves and developing their sense of self. They are already comparing themselves and saying ‘I’m not good at …’ Of course typical mummy rushes in and tells them all the things are good at! Thanks for your comments Tric 🙂 xx

  4. Excellent post! I agree with all of your points! Cate

  5. Love these lessons!!

  6. Beautiful list! I love the first and last ones. Nothing can prepare you, and it’s true you learn so much. I agree, I’m sure if I made a list it could go to 100.

  7. Great list-mammies are always right aren;t they? 🙂

  8. All mothers are always right! At least that’s what mine has learned 🙂

  9. Number 3 – oh yes! Put so perfectly. I’ve got a friend who is expecting her first. I might send this on….

  10. I agree with so many of these. I’m very pro treating the twins as individuals and I’m glad that friends and family have followed suit. They had their own birthday cards and presents when they turned one last week x

    • Thank you :o) They definitely need their own presents, to expect them to share is very unfair! We made two cakes for the last few years, and i’m beginning to wonder when they might want their own parties too!
      As I have a boy and girl, I think the issue of individuality isn’t such a big concern. I’m sure it’s more pressing with same-sex or indeed with identical twins. My guys are like chalk and cheese but for any siblings to be compared, I think, is very frustrating.
      Thanks for reading my wee blog! :o)

      • I have boy and a girl too but even if we had same sex or ID twins, we would have dressed them differently. We are also planning on them being in different school classes, partly to have their own space but also so they don’t rely too much on each other. How that will impact on birthday parties I don’t know? X

      • I thought about sending them to different schools, but we have an amazing local, rural school with a few sets of twins attending and they’re doing really well. They will be in the same class of around 24 kids. At the moment they attend pre-school together and keep their own company which i’m pleased about. So hopefully they will be fine.
        Dressing twins in the same clothes is so strange. I never really got that! :o)

  11. This is a wonderful list. And yes, I’m sure you could have thought of many more. The last one? I think this could be said for even just one child. I thought I was so prepared mentally, but at 21, I felt hampered while my husband still had his freedom to do as he wished. Once the fourth came along, I just got used to it. Preparing for the task of motherhood is impossible. Great post, Olivia.

  12. Agree with it all except my mother is ‘let them cry it out’ old school. We disagree on all thins parenting.
    Great post thanks for linking up with #linkalist

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