Hello! If you’re wondering where I’ve been, I took an unannounced hiatus from the blog which was pretty wonderful. I decided to suit myself and come back when I was in the mood. Not much good for my blog stats, but good for me.
I stopped thinking of my life in blog posts and saying ‘that would make a really good blog post’, much to the relief of my husband. The break did turn out to be a lot longer than I had originally intended, and being away so long did make it difficult to come back. At one stage, I hesitated about returning, but after Christmas I received a few emails from PR companies and read a few articles on the benefits of writing – enough to convince me that it was time to get stuck in again.
So I’m back, but still feeling a bit stuck. I’ve been pondering whether I’m happy to share details of my children’s lives – recently this has made me increasingly uncomfortable. There are so many things I’d love to share, but the kids are now 5 years old and their understanding is growing; they understand that I’ve written stories about them and our experiences. Sharing whimsical stories about twin trolleys is fine, but the meaty, juicy stuff is too personal. I hear other bloggers saying they aren’t comfortable with ‘pimping their family’ and they manage to strike a balance. But I admire those who can happily share everything. Right now I’m struggling to find a balance.
My concern is how this will affect them in the future, and if they’ll turn round in their teenage years and say the stories weren’t mine to tell. I know my blog isn’t overly personal; I don’t have photographs of the kids, but at times I worry about over-sharing and sometimes I wish I hadn’t written that. I’m probably worrying too much and it’s not like I have a huge readership, but still, I want to respect their privacy.
I also find it bizarre on the rare occasion when someone whom I haven’t previously met tells me they’ve been reading my blog. They always say positive things, but it leaves me feeling slightly vulnerable as they know things about me and yet I know nothing about them. When I’m writing, I imagine speaking directly to the bloggers I follow. So when a stranger says they read my blog, it stupidly comes as a surprise. It’s easy to forget at times that this is public and permanent.
I could always write a private blog, but hey, that would be so boring. I could go underground and start an anonymous blog, but that would mean starting from scratch and the early days of a blog are full of tumbleweeds. We all blog for feedback and to converse in a whopping discourse. Currently, my thinking is that my blog will move in a slightly different direction and I’ll do more reviews and link ups, and I’ll keep sharing my published articles. Or perhaps those old teapots up there just need a good Spring clean?
I’m sure I’m not alone in finding it difficult deciding what to share. So, fellow bloggers! If you have any words of wisdom on how you reconcile these conflicting feelings, please divulge! Normally I run to the Irish Parenting Bloggers for advice, but I decided to throw this one out there.
We spent much of Christmas travelling around Ireland visiting our relatives and living out of suitcases. I missed a few blogging opportunities such as looking at a review of 2014 or new year’s resolutions. 2014 had it’s stressful moments and I wasn’t in the mood for a review at all, but here are my new year’s resolutions which are few and go hand in hand.
- to read great books – I’m off to a flying start. Silk for the Feed Dogs by Irish Author and Fashion Designer, Jackie Mallon will be hard to follow. Jackie is a wee dote and I LOVE this book.
- to live in the present (more on this in my next post).
Categories: Blogging, Uncategorized
I’m with you. I struggle with putting myself out there 100%.
Sorry for the delay in responding – my broadband has gone to sleep. Thanks for your comment. It’s nice to know there are others who struggle with this 🙂
I can definitely relate to wondering about how much to share and about deciding to blog in general. I took a break for Christmas and had a lot of these questions. For me, i feel that if i share a limited amount of the details of our life and then focus on what I learned from it, my take away, then I feel comfortable. Most of the time. Because then I do feel it is mostly mine to share. But I also don’t dwell on things my son does that irritate or annoy me at the time, because that doesn’t seem like something I’d want my son to read. Sorry if that was too many thoughts, but I can definitely relate! 🙂
That’s exactly how I feel. That the experiences me and my daughter share that help me grow are mine, but her experiences aren’t for me. It’s difficult to find teh right balance and I find myself not writing the really interesting, funny, cute and insightful things she says because those are hers and I haven’t got her permission to share them.
it’s a difficult thing to master and I do envy to some extent, bloggers that are honest and truthful and totally out there. I guess it’s what you are comfortable with and what you can stand by when your children are older. But you’re certainly not alone.
Hi Mukka! That’s exactly the problem. I don’t know if they’ll mind me sharing the cute little stories on my blog. I think I’ll start a folder containing all the anecdotal stuff. It’s so easy to forget what happened a year ago. I’ve read a few posts and was amazed by how they brought me back. Another part of me feels like the more you put in, the more you get out and life is too short, just let it all out! I’m definitely over-thinking this now. Lol! Thanks so much for your thoughts and I hope you find a nice dress! :))
Not too many at all! I really appreciate all of these opinions. I never share the negative stuff and sort of feel bad about that too in a way. Would hate people to think eveything is always hunky dory, but then by reading these comments, I sense there is a fair degree of editing going on which is sensible really. I’m sort of an all or nothing person. Maybe if I put up a disclaimer saying that there is lots of ‘real’ stuff omitted I’d feel better! 🙂 thanks for your thoughts 🙂
Just had another thought about keeping it real. I guess I feel like my blog is not all hunky dorey stuff, even though I don’t talk about the negatives of my child’s stage. I balance it by being real about my own personal struggles that are just me… Like we moved 2x’s in just over a month recently… Nothing to do with my child, but I went into depth about how I felt, the stress, and feelings. Just a thought. We may not share all about our kids, but we can balance by sharing about ourselves as much as we feel comfortable. Great post and thanks for getting so many people thinking! 🙂
Thanks Marla. That is certainly something I can do. 🙂 I can write lots when I think of it this way and I have written a few posts where I just get things off my chest, including this one! This has been very worthwhile. Thank you for all your ideas on how you manage to strike a balance. Great to know every blogger knowingly puts a lot of thought into this. 🙂
Congratulations on having a well-deserved break! And welcome back. 🙂
I’m extremely cautious about how much of my personal life I put out on the interwebs. I’m especially wary about my children, though now that they are in their mid-teens and are themselves very active online, I am more vigilant about what they say than about what I say. After all, I’ve got myself pretty well trained to be discrete at this point, but they’re just learning.
You might consider writing things up and saving them for later if you’re not sure you want to or ought to publish them now. That way you can capture the stories and the way you feel about them right now. I know of bloggers who have used those stories as the basis of fiction, and bloggers who have held onto them until their children were grown or at least old enough to say, “Sure, Mom, I’m okay with you publishing that.” Or not, as the case may be.
Just thinking about this means that you’re a good parent, and raises exponentially the likelihood that you will Do the Right Thing. Pour yourself a nice cuppa and give yourself a pat on the back.
Hi Jennifer! Haven’t heard from you in ages – hope you’re well and kept busy with all your writing. Thanks for your ideas – writing posts and keeping them a while is a great idea if I could manage to hold off publishing them. Keeping them for fiction is wonderful too. I have so many funny stories that need to be recorded, otherwise I’ll forget them. I want to keep my kids away from social media and the internet for as long as possible. Obviously they’ll need the internet for school projects etc. but I don’t want them to see sharing things online as normal or something they should feel compelled to do too. 🙂
Yeah, I had this silly idea that things would calm down after the holidays. Ha! The joke has definitely been on me. I’ve found that most things in my life are cyclical, so I know the wheel will turn and I’ll be posting again regularly. I just hope it’s soon!
This is something that I have recently considered as well! My oldest is seven and have already decided to stop publishing any pictures of her on my blog! it’s a hard decision to make but one that is important. Good Luck on whatever decision you make and welcome Back!
Thanks April! It just struck me recently when they started to ask me about my blog. I don’t write it when they’re about as they complain, whine and jump on me! My daughter asked one day ‘why did cavemen not wear clothes?’ and before I could respond, my son replied ‘because they were too busy writing their blogs’. Ouch!!
So lovely to see you show up in my reader.
I totally understand and your dilemma with your little ones is what has stopped your flow. You will find a way. I don’t think sharing your childrens Iives will be it. It’s just a matter of redefining what you want your blog to be for you.
I wonder if you used your blog without the innermost dealings of your kids lives, but allowing you to write in some way, and then use facebook for the little things that happen in a day, like a lot of the IPBers do. It keeps you in peoples eye and you don’t need to post continuously (if that makes any sense)
I don’t actually post much about my kids lives but I do post about how I feel about them and what’s happening. They are old and can read it and have no issues at all.
Ah thanks Tric. Yes, I just need to etch out my little niche. I think I nearly found it before the Summer but then I lost it. The blog awards distracted me too. You’re definitley right about facebook. I have been using it to share the little, quirky things that the kids do. It’s lovely to hear your kids are fine with your blog, but I know you’re always articulate and kind towards them and they seem to laugh at you a lot! Soon they’ll realise just how cool you are! Thanks for the great advice 🙂
I agree with you in this and it’s a hard one to strike a balance on. I’m quite private so there’s plenty I don’t say and, in terms of the kids, I tend to hold back as my thinking is I won’t regret saying less, though i may regret saying more. It’s a balance and probably means my blog is less juicy than it might be but I’m happy with it.
Good luck moving forward with it. Be sure to make it into the kind of space you are comfortable with. That’s what matters
Thanks Helen. You’re spot on about making it a space I’m comfortable with, otherwise it won’t flow – which has been happening already. I’m feeling more comfortable now with just sharing certain aspects of my life, if that’s what you and the other experienced bloggers do and you haven’t had any problems. Thanks so much!
I think I’d fall into the “saying too much” category – and perhaps I fall back too much on the “anonymous” nature of my blog, because as time goes on my anonymity becomes more and more compromised. I do try to remain mindful of my children’s privacy in what I write, but of course my opinion of what’s okay to put out there and theirs might not always agree. It’s a conundrum, but you just have to find what’s the right level for you and work with it.
I think you have a lovely balance on your blog, and eveything you write regarding your kids is thoughtful and considerate. I’m sure if they come across your blog in years to come they’d be pleased. I still think of that one that went something like ‘she looked at me with an uncomplicated love’ – about your daughter looking at your face and she ‘didn’t find you lacking’. She would be thrilled to read that some day. It was so beautiful! Thanks for for the advice. I really appreciate it. I’m still mulling things over but at least now I’m very well informed. 🙂
Oh, I’m so touched that you remember something I wrote. That’s the best feeling. Thank you. 🙂
I think it made an impression because my daughter is a similar age and I like to think she looks at me in the same way. 🙂
Aw first of all thanks so much for the shout out! 😀 (Makes polishing move with fingernails on coat lapel , chuffed…)
Next, welcome back, Lovely! Missed ya!
Now, question, do you think your reluctance might have something to do with being Irish? I mean, we are brought up usually not to air laundry in public, especially family business (my mother is a CASE!) And even if it’s good stuff we share, we’re brought up not to boast or draw attention to ourselves…That stuff lingers…just a theory
I think your theory is bang on the money. And here in Ireland, I think some still find the whole blogging thing a bit weird. I’m still figuring it out myself! You’re welcome for shout! 🙂 Very sad that I’m nearly finished it now. When’s your next book out?? No pressure, of course 😉
I’m doing my damnedest to get it written 🙂 So many distractions. But you’re spurring me on.
Feel free to write a wee review on Amazon for Silk if you would. Nothing fancy but it always helps.
Of course I will! Be delighted. 🙂 It sounds like you have lots to keep you busy. Keep on trucking 😉
Hi Olivia, Welcome back 🙂 I’ve been taking a hiatus from blogging myself…not really on purpose, it just got to be too much and I was forced to stop for a while, but now I find myself drawn back. I miss all my friends in the blogging world. I miss the sense of satisfaction at writing and crafting a post or a drawing. I think as long as we imagine ourselves as our children reading this years later we’re probably okay. If my mother had had a parenting blog I think I’d be very curious and happy to have it as a resource to read at this point in my life, when I may be experiencing some of the same challenges. But I know exactly what you mean and have the same struggle.
Welcome back. I’ve missed you! 😄
Thank you for giving me an excellent reason to keep going and not worry so much. This blog will be great for them to read when they are parents themselves; they may come up against the same issues and obstacles.
On a few occasions I’ve asked my mum what we were like as kids and it’s such a long long time ago now, she can’t quite remember. I do love to read some older posts now and again as they bring me straight back to how I felt when I wrote them.
Good to have you back ☺️